

Yesterday during the Super Bowl, a game that features dozens of overgrown men in spandex attempting to violently murder each other for three straight hours, the unthinkable happened. Some British lady extended her middle finger in the direction of a camera, an action that was clearly directed towards the legion of children who weren’t watching or paying attention, who have no idea what the middle finger even means, and brought Western Civilization to its knees. America’s ad hoc President of Funsies, Tim Winter of the Parents Television Council, immediately put on his butthurt manpants and issued a whiny statement that included the following line:
“M.I.A. used a middle finger shamelessly to bring controversial attention to herself, while effectively telling an audience filled with children, ‘F— you.’”
When reached for comment on being told to fuck off by M.I.A., 7-year-old Jayden Applestix Thomas had this to say, “I didn’t watch the halftime show because I’m 7.”
While flipping an entire planet the bird is, at worst, kinda lame, I don’t think it even registered on my list of offensive things that happened on February 5, 2012. In no particular order, here are some things that were more offensive that happened during the game:
- Steven Tyler and Rush Limbaugh were hanging out together.
- Teams from Boston and New York were involved and we all had to pretend to care.
- That super racist, anti-Asian commerical that asshole Senate candidate from Michigan aired.
- Tim Tebow wasn’t asked to give the pregame prayer live on Fox News.
- None of us prayed enough for Tom Brady.
- Oh, did I mention that super racist, anti-Asian commerical that asshole Senate candidate from Michigan aired?
- Eli Mannings face.
- I ran out of beer at halftime. (Really, that was my fault, but still. OFFENDED)!
- Go Daddy’s continued existence.
- Oh, and before I forget, that super racist, anti-Asian commerical that asshole Senate candidate from Michigan aired.
Fuck you, Hoekstra.
(via anedumacation)
Romney don’t you dare disrespect her and flip your hand in “blah blah” mode when she repeats that she loves this country. Tell it like it is auntie!
20 years of Reagan economics and trickle-down theory has only benefited the upper class, and thus, has helped make America a country with one of the highest incomes per capita (still, Mr. Romney, you should fact check.) In addition, GDP seems irrelevant to answering her question on the creation of new jobs.
Also, who’s asking you whether you like or dislike immigrants, or immigration, or legal immigration, or illegal immigration? How dare you even bring up the illegal immigration in your response in an attempt to undercut her statement. It’s not about how you “put Asians down” in your specific policy or speech, but how the economic, healthcare, education, and legal systems of the United States is set against those with the fewest resources; those who would benefit the most. This includes Asian immigrants and the working class.
[oh, and regarding immigration, one last thing. In the infinite wisdom of Jessica Yee: “I didn’t cross the border, the border crossed me.”]
—The first “War on Christmas” was waged almost 400 years ago by our Puritan forefathers. The Pilgrims who came to America in 1620 were outraged by Christmas, partially because it did not originate as a Christian holiday. The upper classes in ancient Rome celebrated Dec. 25 as the birthday of the sun god Mithra. Beyond that, the Puritans considered it historically inaccurate to place the Messiah’s arrival on Dec. 25. They thought Jesus had been born sometime in September. They felt so strongly about the holiday that in New England, they banned Christmas celebrations entirely. Christmas Day was only formally declared a federal holiday in 1870.
so that’s HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you, GOP
(via brooklynmutt)

Don’t tread on me
(Source: thefuckwouldisaywhatfor)
We’re not racists.